


Words of the Soul

by WhiteHawkHarringrove



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Billy Hargrove Redemption, Depression, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Steve Harrington Needs a Hug, There's Much More to Steve's Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-17 13:53:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15462852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteHawkHarringrove/pseuds/WhiteHawkHarringrove
Summary: Random chapters based on rare words. Mostly Steve/Billy related and Steve angst.





	1. Nelipot

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You learn a lot when you're barefoot. The first this is every step you take is different.  
> -Michael Franti

Nelipot  
(n.) one who walks barefoot

\-----------

Steve Harrington hated wearing shoes. He only owned two pairs, one for school and one for basketball. Everyone thought he was weird for this reason... everyone except Nancy, she had thought it was funny and endearing. And then they broke up. His shoes were almost in pristine condition as they were rarely worn.

It was 7pm. Steve exited his house into his backyard, loving the feeling of the grass under his bare feet. He glanced back at his house and strolled into the woods. This was his new routine ever since the first run-in with the upside down. He would walk through the woods until the early hours of the morning, then he would go home and sleep for 1 or 2 hours until his alarm went off.

So here he was, holding a flashlight, in jeans and an oversized sweater, walking barefoot in the middle of the forest. He stopped for a minute when he heard soft sobs come from nearby. He headed toward the source of the cries, very concerned.

“Hello?” A male voice asked when Steve stepped on a stick, making a loud crack echo throughout the dark forest. Steve walked closer, shining the light around.

“Who's there?” Steve asked, the beam of light landed on a figure curled up against a tree. He took a few steps closer and saw a familiar face looking up at him, his eyes wet with tears.

“Harrington? Is that you?” Billy Hargrove asked, squinting to see through the light to see the other teen. Steve shrugged and lowered the light.

“Yeah. What are you doing out here, Hargrove?” Steve inquired, quirking an eyebrow. Billy looked back at him, his face for once not contorted in anger. 

“I could ask you the same thing,” Billy retorted, wiping the tears away. The blond seemed to have let his walls down a little, his voice didn't have the bite that it did before.

“I'm just walking, I couldn't sleep,” Steve defended, taking a seat in front of Billy, legs crossed. Billy just nodded. “Now, why are you out here?”

A few tears slipped from the blond's eyes, even in the dark Steve could see it. Steve put a comforting hand on Billy's knee and to his surprise, he didn't back up or swat the brunet's hand away; he seemed to lean into the other boy's touch.

“I got into a fight with my dad and left,” Billy summarized. He then gave Steve an inquisitive look. “You can't sleep? Why?” 

“Nightmares,” Steve stated with a tone that warned the blond not to ask questions. Billy looked towards the ground, seeing the shoeless feet of Steve. He let out a chuckle despite the situation.

“Where the hell are your shoes, Harrington?” Billy asked. Glad for a change in subject, Steve wiggled his toes playfully.

“I like feeling what's beneath my feet,” Steve replied. He gave Billy a look, a smirk on his face. “You should try it sometime, it's very freeing.”

“You know what, Harrington? I just might,” Billy responded, taking his shoes off. Billy not only found it endearing. He joined him.


	2. Yugen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In three words I can sum up everything I know about life: it goes on.  
> -Robert Frost

Yugen  
(n.) a profound awareness of the universe that triggers a deep emotional response

\-----------

Steve lay on the hood of his car which was parked on the West Bridge. He watched the stars in complete silence, taking slow drags from a cigarette. He smiled to himself while he got lost in his thoughts. The stars looked brilliant against the pitch black sky.

After all the shit that had happened, it just felt like a relief to finally be alone with the universe. He should feel sad or scared or something... but he didn't. For once in these past two hellish years fighting the upside down, he felt overwhelming peace. 

That peace was quickly severed by the roaring of a familiar sounding engine, it was the sound that haunted his dreams and plagued his thoughts during the day. But right now he wasn't scared. He turned gently when Billy Hargrove smacked his hand down hard on the hood of Steve's car, right next to his head.

“Don't dent my car,” Steve stated calmly and looked back at the sky, taking a really long drag and letting the smoke out slowly; the smoke swirled in the air and then drifted up, illuminated by the headlights of Billy's car.

“What the hell are you doing out here, Harrington? You watching the stars like a teenage girl?” Billy asked sarcastically. His words didn't have the hatred laced into them that they once had. Steve just nodded silently, inhaling more smoke.

“It's incredible you know,” Steve commented quietly. Billy was taken aback by Steve's words, he didn't care that he was just insulted.

“What?” Billy asked, confusion lacing his voice. Steve turned to Billy again, his features soft and at ease.

“After all the shit that's gone down in the past two years, the stars still shine... we're still here,” Steve stated in wonder. Billy raised an eyebrow, even more confused than before.

“Why are you really out here, Harrington?” Billy asked, this time with a hint of concern, Steve's eyes met his and Billy saw something... Loneliness and fear.

“Can't sleep. I keep having nightmares,” Steve told him, though he wasn't sure why. Billy let out a chuckle.

“What's the matter, you having nightmares that daddy didn't give you enough allowance?” Billy scoffed. Steve let out a dark laugh.

“My dad died when I was 10. And you want to know what my nightmares were?” Steve asked, voice growing louder and more frustrated. Billy went silent but nodded hesitantly.”Do you know about Barbara Holland?”

“Yeah, the girl that went missing 2 years ago... why?” Billy inquired, Steve frowned and looked back at the sky.

“She was with my ex and I when she went missing. I keep having nightmares of her coming back and telling me it was all my fault. Other dreams, I'm with the kids and a creature is tearing them apart right in front of me... I can't get their screams out of my head,” Steve told Billy, pressing his palms into his closed eyelids. He was trying to stop the tears that he knew were coming. 

They were both shocked when Billy motioned for Steve to move over then lay next to him. Steve watched as the blond's eyes traveled towards the sky. Steve curled into Billy's side and wasn't pushed away. 

“Damn, Harrington, you were right. This is incredible,” Billy said softly as he put his arm around Steve's shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.


	3. Thantophobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love can't exist without fear. If the thought of losing someone doesn't scare the shit out of you, then it's not love.  
> -unknown

Thantophobia  
(n.) the phobia of losing someone you love

\-------

The forest was pitch black. Steve stumbled over roots and rocks as he tried to escape the Demogorgon. Dustin's screams made him stop dead and look back. Dustin's bloody body lay in shreds on the forest floor and Steve felt sick to his stomach. 

Steve collapsed to his knees, letting out a heart-wrenching sob as he saw the bodies of the other kids too, bloody and mangled. He felt a hand grab his and pull him to his feet in the other direction. When he looked to the person who was dragging him away he saw the familiar blond hair of his boyfriend.

“Babe, we gotta run faster, they're going to get us!” Billy shouted over his shoulder. Steve could see that Billy had long, bloody claw marks running down the left side of his face. He looked at the forest floor and crimson on his own shirt caught his eye. When had that happened? 

Billy and Steve ducked behind a car once they had gotten to the street. Billy lifted the edge of Steve's shirt up to reveal a long, deep wound on his side that had dark blood coursing out of it. Steve clenched his teeth as a searing pain made itself known. Billy pressed down on the wound with firm hands.

Steve reached up to gently cradle Billy's injured face. Billy pressed his cheek into Steve's hand, kissing his palm.

“What happened baby?” Steve asked, confused. Billy looked at him in concern. 

“It happened when I saved you from the Demogorgon like 7 minutes ago. You don't remember?” Billy asked. Steve was really confused now.

“But you don't know about the Demogorgon. You weren't there.” Steve told Billy. Billy's reply was cut off when a long-fingered hand wrapped around his leg and started dragging him away.

“Steve! Help me! Please! Don't let me die like this!” Billy pleaded as he was dragged away. Steve tried to move but he couldn't, it was like an invisible force was holding him down. Steve watched helplessly as the Demogorgon tore its claws into Billy's stomach.

“No! Billy! No!” Steve wailed, tears streaming down his face. Billy's almost lifeless body was dropped to the pavement. Steve crawled over to him and started sobbing, watching as his boyfriend took gurgling breaths and exhaled blood. “ Please don't leave me... you're all I have left. I need you.”

“Babe, it's okay, I'm here.” Steve heard Billy say as his dying body melted away. Steve's eyes snapped open with a sob. He saw Billy lying next to him in his bed, looking at him with concern lacing every single one of his features. Steve reached out for Billy and latched onto him, sobbing into his chest.

“Are you okay? What's wrong?” Billy asked the sobbing boy softly. Steve just sobbed even harder. They sat there for an hour, Billy cradling Steve in his arms, whispering gentle words to him.

“The kids were killed and you... a creature slashed your stomach right in front of me. I was so scared. There was no one left.” Steve told Billy and started sobbing again. Billy kissed the top of his head and rubbed a reassuring hand up and down his back.

“Hey... I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere,” Billy promised Steve who gave him a small smile. Steve craned his neck and gave his boyfriend a gentle kiss on the lips, which Billy returned.

“I love you.” Steve nuzzled Billy's neck softly.

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Cafuné

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this chapter was cute.

Cafuné  
(ver.) running your fingers through your lover's hair

\----------

Steve had just woken up from another nightmare and looked over to the other side of the bed. It was just his luck, it was Friday night, Billy was at a party.

Steve felt like there was a heavy weight on his chest, restricting his breathing. He just had to have a panic attack, didn't he? His chest was heaving as he grabbed the phone from his nightstand, dialing Stacey's number, that's whose party Billy was at that current moment. 

“Hello?” A voice asked, Steve didn't care who it was at the current moment, he needed Billy. 

“I need to talk to Billy Hargrove, is he there?” Steve asked, tears streaming down his face. The voice on the other end seemed hesitant, there was almost no background noise.

“Yeah, just give me a minute, I'll go find him,” The voice said and then disappeared. Steve glanced at the clock. It was 3am. He grabbed a pillow, holding it tightly to his chest to make up for the absence of his boyfriend. He heard footsteps then a scratching noise as someone picked up the phone.

“Hello?” Billy asked groggily. 

“Billy?” Steve asked, voice laced with fear. Billy's mind was awake instantly, concerned, hearing heavy breathing coming from the other side of the line.

“Babe? What's wrong?” Billy asked frantically, afraid Steve was hurt... or worse. He heard Steve sob wetly.

“I need you, I'm so scared. I don't know what to do,” Steve cried, hugging the pillow closer. Billy reached and grabbed his coat from the coat rack which was beside the phone. 

“Why are you scared? I need you to tell me what's going on,” Billy told Steve as he slid his coat on, checking his pocket for his keys. Billy was terrified at this point, thinking that Steve had gotten into an accident or something.

“I had a nightmare again... you died. I was all alone and I was so scared...” Steve trailed off into tears. Billy let out some of the breath he didn't realize he was holding. Steve wasn't dying, that was Billy's main source of relief. “I need you.”

Those three words broke Billy's heart. It hurt him to hear the fluffy haired brunet so scared and hurt. He slipped his shoes on.

“I'll be there in 10 minutes,” Billy told his boyfriend, hanging up and heading out the door without so much as a goodbye to the rest of the party goers. 

Steve lay on their bed, sobbing softly, waiting for Billy. Before he knew it he heard the front door open downstairs and feet scrambling up the flight of stairs towards Steve's room. Billy turned on the light and approached the bed with the teen who was curled up into a ball, loud whimpering noises coming from where Steve's head was buried within the pillow.

Billy lay down next to him, wrapping his arms around the scared boy. Steve turned, eyes lighting up when he saw Billy and latched onto him.

“Hey, it's okay, babe. I'm here, it's all going to be okay,” Billy whispered, running his fingers gently through Steve's long locks. Steve sobbed into his chest even harder than before.

“I love you, it's going to be okay,” Billy whispered as Steve began to quiet down.

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, comments are appreciated

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts on this


End file.
